"The Revenant," by Billy Collins

[thehefner]

Following disc_sophist's lead, here's a favorite poem by former US poet laureate Billy Collins. I can't wait to buy his live readings CD, introduced by Bill Murray. I may be a cat lover, but I do love me this poem. Plus, I want an excuse to bust out my Rules of Attraction icons!

***

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--
that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

Comments

[ortugatay.livejournal.com]

Oooh I love me some Billy Collins. Did you by chance get to see him when he came to WAC?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That was how I learned about the old boy and why I love him so. It's also where I first heard this poem!

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

That is really freakin' awesome. The poem and the icon.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I do so love Billy Collins. I shall have to read you more.

And that's the icon I got so excited about when I first saw it. I'm so happy I found it.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

I'm going to kick my dog in the head the next time I see her. Just so she doesn't get any ideas.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ah, the power of poetry.

Is your dog pointy-nosed, by chance?

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

Pointyish, yeah.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

C'est adorible! sez the kid who barely passed college french.

I told my friend disc_sophist as much of the Ikea strip as I could remember, she said it was so totally true.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

She's way cuter in person. She's never been the most photogenic of doggies.

Ikea is so great.

[disc-sophist.livejournal.com]

I'd like to hear this out loud. It initially feels like a simple amusing inversion of what we usually assume dogs enjoy, but then it becomes clear that not only was the owner wrong, he was ironically so. So many things, the hand-shaking, the inability to howl or run away, go against exactly what a dog is. I bet all that would become more amusing if we could hear more clearly the intended discontent.

I LOVE the cynical harshness of the leash stanza and, of course, the final line. Must get more.