eat them up, yum.

[thehefner]

So I've started filming my father as he tells stories. Not only does this give me an excuse to use my iSight, but it gives me a real archive for myself, capturing my father at his most human moments as he recounts his childhood in Chicago, his days at Curtis Institute, his tyrannical mentor, and his many, many women. My main goal is to have these for when I write the big, long Hefner Monologue about him (it might even be a single book), but it's also great to have him captured on film for me to study from an outside perspective.

His stories are excellent, and even downhill as he is, he can still muster a bit of the old bard in him every now and again. I'm almost tempted to put these videos on youtube, but he made me promise not to show them to anyone. He won't admit it, but he doesn't want anyone to see the state he's in. So I'll do the next best thing and try to paint a picture with words when the times comes.

Besides, it's just as well no one sees these films because of my involvement in them. I've never listened to a recording of myself not reading from a script, so forgive me for being the last person on earth to make this observation, but...

HOLY CRAP I TALK SO FRICKIN' FAST AND STUTTER LIKE CRAZY!

I mean, I knew I was a bit fast and stuttery anyway, but sweet merciful fuck, no wonder people think I'm intense and overwhelming! Hell, I don't think *I* could tolerate me! I'm listening to me interview my father, and all I can think is, "Deep breath, boy! Deep breath! Slooowww!" Seriously, how the hell do you people put up with me when I get like that? I sound like a coked-up Porky Pig!

Of course, it's because I have so many thoughts in my head at any given moment that I want to get them all out before I'm interrupted, or before people lose interest. Still. Yipes.

Comments

[icewolf010.livejournal.com]

Seriously, how the hell do you people put up with me when I get like that?

Eh, it's not so bad once I manage to slip the valium into your energy drink...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

And here I thought that was just the feeling I got whenever I looked into your eyes...

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Eh, I just tend to space out and then pop in with a Freakazoid! or Simpsons quote that was sparked by one of the words I picked up in whatever you were saying.

You know, that started as joke but it's scary as to how true that could actually be.

Oh hey, you want to go to the Museum of Spackle?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh come on now Mike, this is serious and do you really expect me to be distracted by something as foolish as DO I!!!!!!!!!!!

[tazira.livejournal.com]

Oh, seeing yourself on film is always startling as hell. "Do I really do THAT?! How do people stand me?"

It's amazing, what people can and will not only stand, but love.

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you're not alone here Hefster. At least you don't listen to your voice on tape and go, "Sweet shit, I sound like Butthead!"

"Uh...did we just score? Huh huh huh."

[mirthical.livejournal.com]

and all this time I thought it was just a ploy to get me to kiss you and shut you up.

darnit.

=)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Well, if it were, you clearly aren't responding enough! Better try harder, otherwise I am liable to start bursting through walls ala the Kool-Aid Man. I expect improvement when next I see you, which you should tell me when that is... I found out that I can get out of work on the weekend of the 16th, even the whole week from Wed-Sunday. So let me know what works, because if you don't shut me up, who will? WHO WILL?

[mirthical.livejournal.com]

but then I'd have to have my mouth permanently affixed to yours, and you'd try to tell me about some comic or cartoon or movie and be all muffled and then I'd start laughing and then you'd make googly eyes at me, and I'd laugh some more, and then you would go on a Kool-Aid Man rampage, and I would be powerless to stop you.

so you see.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

... hee. Aheeheehee.

You got me there. Now I have a visual of smashing through walls on my rampage, you swinging from my face as I go, shouting "OOOHHH YHHHH!!!!" I will leave a trail of red in make wake... blood indistinguishable from spilled kool-aid.

And then, back to the flirting and geeky stuff between us for a little while.