thehefner | eat them up, yum.

So I've started filming my father as he tells stories. Not only does this give me an excuse to use my iSight, but it gives me a real archive for myself, capturing my father at his most human moments as he recounts his childhood in Chicago, his days at Curtis Institute, his tyrannical mentor, and his many, many women. My main goal is to have these for when I write the big, long Hefner Monologue about him (it might even be a single book), but it's also great to have him captured on film for me to study from an outside perspective.

His stories are excellent, and even downhill as he is, he can still muster a bit of the old bard in him every now and again. I'm almost tempted to put these videos on youtube, but he made me promise not to show them to anyone. He won't admit it, but he doesn't want anyone to see the state he's in. So I'll do the next best thing and try to paint a picture with words when the times comes.

Besides, it's just as well no one sees these films because of my involvement in them. I've never listened to a recording of myself not reading from a script, so forgive me for being the last person on earth to make this observation, but...

HOLY CRAP I TALK SO FRICKIN' FAST AND STUTTER LIKE CRAZY!

I mean, I knew I was a bit fast and stuttery anyway, but sweet merciful fuck, no wonder people think I'm intense and overwhelming! Hell, I don't think *I* could tolerate me! I'm listening to me interview my father, and all I can think is, "Deep breath, boy! Deep breath! Slooowww!" Seriously, how the hell do you people put up with me when I get like that? I sound like a coked-up Porky Pig!

Of course, it's because I have so many thoughts in my head at any given moment that I want to get them all out before I'm interrupted, or before people lose interest. Still. Yipes.