giggity giggity goo

[thehefner]

kali921 recently told me that she firmly believed I had the "Hefner" mack in me somewhere, the playboy, that ladies man of not just Hef himself, but of my father. She believes that I absolutely have it in me, but it's just dormant right now, someday to be unleashed.

The thing is, I just know exactly what's gonna happen. I do.

I'll have some unbelievably sexy lass in my room-- the lights off, candles lit, Al Green on the stereo, fresh cocktails made for each of us-- and this girl will be classy, too, classier than any centerfold, but fiery, and she'll be curled on my bed, ready, willing, and wearing nothing but a smile... that's when I'll look her right in the eyes with a sly, lustful wink, and whisper, "Hey baby... after this, you wanna watch RAVENOUS?

"... What? What's wrong? I said 'after'!"

Because you see, even though I don't exactly want to be like Hugh or Dad, I still may truly earn the family name some day. Misty has said that I'm the most romantic person she's ever known. Tammy has said that what I did at Birthday Ball was still the most sweeping gesture she's ever been given. So yes, I may well have the Hefner in me after all.

But at the end of the day, I think the Heffie will far outweigh the Hefner.

So whaddya say, hot stuff? Howzabout we get into THE NINTH CONFIGURATION, if you know what I mean.

Comments

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Hey, scarydavedc is DJing at Midnight this Saturday. You should come and hang out. I promise that I won't be nearly as drunk as I was the last time you came to Midnight. And you can practice gettin' yer mack on. ;)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, I'm tempted, but I dunno... I can't meet anyone at those kinds of clubs. Everyone goes to goth clubs to be alone; I'd never before seen an entire room full of people, being alone, together. I think macks are looked down upon as it is, even if I had mackabilities. That said, if I could be introduced around to some cute girls, I might be better inclined.

Otherwise, I'd rather hang with you guys in a place where I can easier hold a conversation.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

While I don't think I can introduce you to any single chicks who might go home with you (the ones who would I wouldn't recommend), I can introduce you to non-single chicks who enjoying flirting as pastime.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The ones who would I wouldn't recommend

God, and ain't that just the bitter truth of it? Sexually, it's almost like "I wouldn't want to join a club that'd have someone like me for a member." Not exactly, but close to.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'd take you home. You're cute! Cept', well, you know, that Dave guy . . . :P

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

and she IS that kinda girl that ya wouldnt recommend!

/ducks

HEY!

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

You're not supposed to know stuff like that about me! :P
Have you been talking to chai_tease about me? That woman has far too much blackmail material about me.

Re: HEY!

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

we may both be married now, but we can smell our own.

i am far better behaved than i once was.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Alternatively (or also, depending on your mood), you can accompany us to the world's largest pot luck barbeque on Sunday. Far lower on the "people being alone" factor.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Whenabouts? I don't believe I'll be working Sunday, but just in case, let me know. That could be great. I like food AND conversation more than loud music and serious flailing.

[heleneotroy.livejournal.com]

Dave's friend Amir holds his Amir-B-Q every summer. He provides meat and drink, and everyone else brings . . . well, everything else. I've never been to one, but I'm told he gets something like 100 people attending. Its in a public park somewhere in Rockville, although I'm not sure which one. Carpooling can be arranged.