The Songs of Johnny Go

Wanted: scans of BATMAN # 50 and particularly # 68. They're not reprinted anywhere, not even in any of the hardcover archive editions! Heck with it, I may just do a request post at scans_daily.

I very much want to do an epic essay about the five different Two-Faces in the Golden Age, with a special focus on the three different takes on the character of Paul Sloane. And heck, I'm interested to actually read the original Sloane story, as well as the Wilkins the Butler. Yes, Harvey even has a butler who dresses up as him to commit crimes. I love the Golden Age!

jlroberson was awesome enough to post the BATMAN newspaper strip version of Two-Face # 2. In this version, he's not Harvey Dent, District Attorney, but rather Harvey Apollo, ham actor.

I kind of love this version. I imagine him sounding like Calculon.



DRAMA!!!

On that scans_daily post, psychopathicus_rex responded to my discussion of the five Two-Faces by saying, "I kind of like the concept of Two-Face as the ultimate legacy villain, an identity assumed by countless people obsessed by the horrific original. It's even plausible - after all, all you would need to become Two-Face is to have half of your face scarred or disfigured somehow, and there are hundreds of ways that that could happen. Acid, fire, car accidents, a stroke - or, of course, something deliberate and removable like makeup. He could be like the Dr. Mabuse of Batman's rogues."

I think it'd actually be fascinating to see what happens with that in the modern continuity. It'd certainly allow poor Harvey to grow free from his Sisyphean lot in life and explore themes of duality in other ways.

Me, I quixotically hoped that Harvey would stay healed and sane (ish) as a vigilante antihero post-ONE YEAR LATER and that the mantle of Two-Face would have been taken up by Alexander Luthor, having survived the Joker's gunshot. I would have loved to have seen that, even if the risk was we'd get more of the wanky, petulant Luthor we say in INFINITE CRISIS. But hey, if Superboy-Prime can be made interesting, anything's possible!

Baltimore Comic Con has thrown me off the wagon. Hard. I am now scouring eBay to find:



-- 1.) Every single issue of the Timmverse animated Batman comics. That's THE BATMAN ADVENTURES, BATMAN AND ROBIN ADVENTURES, BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES, and BATMAN ADVENTURES (I have no interest in BATMAN BEYOND). Because at their best, these really are some of the finest Batman comics I have ever read, period. Time and again, I read an issue that makes me go, "YES. *THAT* is what I love about these characters." There's more consistent quality from these runs than almost anything else I see in canon DCU, and it pains me that these aren't better known nor loved by kids and adults alike.



... and...



-- 2.) Every single major Two-Face appearance ever. Well, at least some of the more obscure ones from around 1976-1990.

( Here are some cover scans of the ones I'm looking for specifically, for parties interested in old back issues. )

I'm totally doing that Two-Face-centric blog at some point. I managed to salvage the old essays I wrote for scans_daily (my three-part Gilda retrospective! "The Ballad of Harvey and Renee!" "Harvey Dent: Comic Writer?" And the classic, "It Sucks to be Harvey Dent!"), and I plan to revise them accordingly with more insight and whatnot. Ooh, ooh, I can finally have an excuse to do that essay about how Harvey has been the trial by fire for all the male Robins. I'll say it again, he's the Wacky Uncle of the Bat-Family!

Of course, none of that will happen until I've finished the first draft of a new show for Fringe 2010. Such geeky self-indulgence shall be my reward. And this, ladies and gents, is why Heffie never does NaNoWriMo.

I'm sure none of you are wondering, "Gee, Heffie, could there ever be a Two-Face action figure so lame and stupid that even a hardcore Harvey Dent obsessive like you wouldn't ever buy it?"

Why yes, all of you who weren't asking that question. Yes there is. Of course, the Jason Todd figure ain't much better, and I'm still not feeling the stripes on the new Batgirl costume. Also, the new Azrael gets a figure? Already? Really?

Don't mind me, I'm on edge with this being the first night of the Vancouver Fringe Festival. We're both feeling really stressed about this one, for a number of reasons. Me, much of it is just being thrust back into the cliquey and somewhat-elitist nature of the Canadian circuit. One of the great things about Indy Fringe was the feeling of being on more or less equal footing with all the other performers. Now, I'm back amid the rockstars.

Hopefully henchgirl will get even more stressed and worried than I am. She has spider-sense, you see. The more she paces and needs to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes, the better the show goes. I can't explain it. Either she senses the audience, or more likely she acts as my neurosis sponge, leaving me to concentrate on having a great show.

Between the two of us, she may be dead of a massive exploding ulcer by tonight. I will weep for henchgirl. And then I will start accepting applications for new henchpersons, preferably of the girl persuasion, for my 2010 tour.

Sorry, sorry, li'l joke. I have to distract myself with either humor, or more geek-driven facepalm and rage. I mean, seriously, DC Comics, what the hell are IS this crap?!

Oh, one more thing, for the Bat-nerds out there, especially my fellow Harvey fans.

In his essay, "How Jason Todd Went Wrong a Second Time", the blogger MightyGodKing starts by talking about how Jason is so obviously a sucky suck-ass character, but that having him brought back to life didn't have to end up sucking like it did. Quoth MGK:


There’s a good reason for it: “what if Jason Todd came back” was a really good idea. Forcing Batman to relive his greatest failure - and the implicit criticisms of his method that are inherent in Jason Todd’s presence - is goddamned great story fodder, because under normal circumstances Batman is a very difficult character to believably threaten or damage. He’s Batman: he’s the best at everything always. That’s why he’s Batman, but this makes it hard to create an antagonist who can really get to him. The Joker and Two-Face and all the rest can be external threats to Batman, but they really can’t get inside his head and make him doubt himself. Jason Todd, however, could do that.


At which point I stopped reading the essay entirely. I still haven't read the rest.

I plan to later, once I've rested up a bit and have time to kill, but for the time being, that was all I could stand to read before the wheels in my head started turning. I immediately went to the comments, curious to see if anyone else had touched upon what I could only barely begin to formulate, the kind of response that could take me a good hour to properly compose.

Of the 45 responses, only one discussed the topic in question. But the commenter, "BSD," did so in a manner that put to shame anything I could have come up with on my own, at least in my current state:


Two-Face is the Best Batman Villain because he DOES get inside of Batman’s head. He’s precisely what Alfred is scared of, what Bruce in his heart of heart really worries about, and simply by existing challenges the entire Bruce/Batman project (this is part of why Hush is stupid and boring: he’s completely redundant.) In fact, his purely internal challenge to Batman is twofold: First, he is the synthesis of the Batman/Joker thesis/antithesis, and second, he is a dangerous what-might-have-been for Bruce.

Joker is so important to Batman because he is his perfect inversion. No real identity, no real origin, he is devoted to and emblematic of an unjust, meaningless world, directly opposed to the core Batman idea that the world can be “cleaned up”. Two-face, then, as the synthesis of the opposites, is even more of a challenge, arguably a better Batman than Batman in that he accepts that the world is fundamentally random and chaotic, that events occur without meaning, but that once chaos has had its say, in the best Two-Face stories, he works with that, either building the best world he can from the world that exists, or destroying it as best he can (my favorite Two-Face story remains the one in which he’s cured, is back to being Harvey full time, but then claws off half of his own face).

He’s also a challenge to Batman in that he evokes a hypothetical “Alleyman” or “Two-Gun”, a vigilante who just hangs around alleys and shoots people. If anything, Two-Face’s origin would be more, not less, likely to produce a hero rather than a madman.

And every time they fight, Bruce has to ask himself about that.


Wow. I honestly don't think I could have said it better myself. I wanna find this person and buy him/her a beer.

How disappointingly typical that not a single person other than myself have even responded to his comment, or even MGK's throwaway dismissal about Harvey in the first place (not to mention the Joker, that one's not really true either; of ALL the Bat-villains to name-drop for characters who don't fuck around with Batman's head and heart, those two might just be the worst examples to make!) but it's so amazing to read someone else actually getting what I've spent the last three years and eight drafts trying to explore.

Now, more than ever, I want to get back to work on Draft Nine, start those massive overhauls of the second half. But no, I need to give the original HEFNER MONOLOGUES a script overhaul in of itself, plus get to work on two brand-new separate projects for my 2010 Fringe tour. I doubt I'll really be able to give the Harvey book the attention it needs until late Fall. Serious sadness, people.

But until then, here's hoping more people take BSD's astute observations to heart, as far too many writers have completely missed the point*. Because that, folks, that is why Harvey Dent is so vital to the Batman mythos to this very day, and why he's one of the most compelling and vibrant characters out there now. In my own humble opinion, naturally.

What think you, BatFans?




*Including great writers like Chuck Dixon. He wrote one of the all-time greatest Joker stories in BATMAN: DEVIL'S ADVOCATE, but his take on Harvey is one of the most glaring examples of Two-Face-Fail out there, particularly as shown in BATMAN: PRODIGAL and ROBIN: YEAR ONE.

Dixon's sneeringly evil Harvey will happily screw with the coin's outcome and essentially cheat to make the odds work in his favor, which right there just turns him into a one-note madman with a gimmick who also beat the shit out of a child with a baseball bat. Not that the Robin beating isn't great in its way, but damn, what I'd give to see (or write) a proper retake on that whole sequence.

1.)





I, for one, would absolutely love a "It Sucks To Be Harvey Dent" Lego playset.




2.) And this, ladies and gentlemen, THIS... is how fucked we all are.





So, all that "being able to talk to sea creatures is a lame-ass power" bullshit ain't so funny now, is it?

I was actually thinking about a possible Aquaman vs. Cthulhu battle, but everyone says Arthur would lose. I think they're right. Instead, I think Namor could and would beat Cthulhu, while for Aquaman, the above would totally happen. Because he is King of the Goddamned Seas.



3.) Stan Lee, circa 1973





I've been thinking, for some future comic convention, I should get some old-man makeup effects and go dressed as Stan Lee. Bad toupee, liver spots, and all. And/or, bust out the smoking jacket and go as his IRON MAN cameo:





Some folks think the idea of me dressed as Stan Lee dressed as Hef is too corny, too ironic. I suppose it would be, for the five people who'd actually get the family reference. I've gotta say seeing one of my fandom's greatest icons dressed up as my estranged cousin (and nicknamesake!) was pretty damn surreal.

I good and truly cannot understand how some people can be bitchy, complaining, and fanwanky about the upcoming GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT. Seriously, what's with these people?* Where's their sense of geek joy?

Like, take how DC is putting out full-page profiles on each of the Color Corps. Most recently, they featured the Orange Lanterns. Now, we knew the Oranges were driven by avarice and led by one in particular--Larfleeze, aka "Agent Orange"--but we didn't know what exactly made them stand out among the other Corps. Until now:



When this was posted over at scans_daily (the InsaneJournal version, which just isn't the same, damn it!), box_in_the_box summed up my feelings rather well:

Of COURSE the Orange Lantern Corps would be a ONE-man corps, because he wouldn't want to SHARE it with anyone else.

BRILLIANT. :)

It really, really is. It's shit like this which gets my geek heart giddy. This is a Grant-Morrison-level idea, but because it's being written by someone who actually gives a shit about characters as much as wacky ideas, it actually has the potential to be pulled off interestingly!!!

Box added, My only regret is that, if we can have Ruffles the Rage-Kitty, then Agent Orange SHOULD have been an anthropomorphic DUCK.

More to the point, a talking duck who speaks in a SCOTTISH accent, and wears SPATS.

COME ON! SCROOGE MCDUCK AS THE ORANGE LANTERN - YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE THIS, BITCHES.

Hell, I was saying that very thing! Scrooge, Gollum, and the FINDING NEMO seagulls (remember, the Orange Lantern(s/'s) main catch phrase? "MINE." No, really!), they all need to be Orange Lanterns. Even if it means they were killed and turned into avatars for Agent Orange.

In response to my quixotic plea for an LJ icon, endis_ni made this greatness:



While s_d's resident undisputed master of all things Wonder Woman, the great bluefall, made the magnificent icon you see here. She even made the other ones orange avatars! Brilliant touch!

But Mr. Box was not done with me yet:

Scrooge as a Green Lantern (yes, he's greedy as hell, but he also has hellacious willpower) versus Flintheart Glomgold as an Orange Lantern.

THEY WOULD TOTALLY BE LIKE HAL AND SINESTRO.

(Although imagining the Finding Nemo seagulls all wielding Orange Power Rings and saying, "MINE! MINE! MINE!" as they fly into battle? Is AWESOME.)

We then realized that, naturally, it follows that Donald Duck would be a Red Lantern, which certainly made me feel like a total shameful smarty-pants for thinking that no one could possibly have come up with something so unbelievably nerdy!

Which is when someone showed us this...



...

Dear god, but I love nerds.**

And for those who don't read comics, filbypott has kindly provided a simple go-to explanation of the various Corps' D&D alignments:

Red: Chaotic Evil
Orange: Neutral Evil
Yellow: Lawful Evil
Green: Lawful Neutral (the Guardians, at least, if not individual GLs)
Blue: Lawful Good
Indigo: Neutral Good
Violet: Chaotic Good

The question of whether or not the Black Lanterns could be Black Lanterns Chaotic Neutral is yet to be answered, but there you go.




*Like, okay, so "Willpower" and "Death" aren't really emotions. It's a valid point. Now shut up, stop nitpicking, and enjoy the awesomeness. Sheesh.

**Coincidentally, there were not one but TWO videos of Two-Face as a Sinestro Corpsman, but they're not worth posting here. By the way, suburbfabulous and tragical_mirth: in light (har) of the revelations that the Blue Lanterns' powers are dependent upon being in close proximity to a Green Lantern, I fear practicality must top symbolism. Therefore, I acquiesce: Harvey Dent's good side would be a Green--not Blue--Lantern.

And yet, I dunno... I'd think a half-blue, half-red costume would look snazzier than half-green, half-red. The latter would look like Christmas Two-Face, while the former would match my eyes!

New costume idea: Harvey Dent as a member of the Blue and Red Lantern Corps.

Think about it: a ring on each hand, with a split costume, but not evenly split down the middle. Rather, both sides are fighting back and forth for supremacy, with mini red and blue glow sticks strategically inserted in the schisms, hinting at the literal internal battle for his heart. (No mask, though; I mean, gee, I wonder who he could possibly be under that?)

If I were able to do Comic Con this year (and thus not touring the Fringe circuit at the time), I'd so be all over this glorious waste of time and money. This would be the year to do it too. Corps' t-shirts were selling like crazy at New York Comic Con, so GL-related stuff is totally hip right now.

Maybe I'll consider it for next year, assuming that THE BLACKEST NIGHT doesn't do for the various Corps what SECRET INVASION did for Skrulls.

If nothing else, I need fanart of this, pronto.

At the encouragement of the wonderful greedyslayer, I here present the prologue from the current draft of DENT (working title). At this stage, I'm experimenting with a bit of Cormac McCarthy style. Hopefully it works and isn't confusing, as I think it'll pay off in the bigger picture if done well.

But for now, here it is: a stand-alone chapter that can also operate as a teaser trailer for the ultimate finished book. Comments and criticisms are very welcome, but just be sure to treat this for the excerpt that it is. Hope you like it.

( Half the time, I didn’t know what to make of my father. )

And Draft Six of the Harvey Dent novel is finished. 82,000 words currently. At this point, I reckon it's one or two drafts away from the final one.

Of course, until it's published in some form, I imagine I'll always be picking at it, or coming back with some brilliant new revision here or there. And even then, who knows? Some filmmaker once said, "films are never completed, they are only abandoned," and I think that sentiment may hold true for all forms of story. Perhaps all art in general?

I really should have been working on far more important things, but dash it all, with everyone talking about how much they're loving THE DARK KNIGHT on DVD* right now--which lead to rekindling my rants regarding how they wasted Harvey's whole character, arguing with several others at some poor other person's LJ--and add to that my dissatisfaction in the latest arc of NIGHTWING**... I just had to get back to the novel. To actually do something rather than just be another bitching, powerless fanboy.

God, when I think about how much time and energy and effort I've put into this fictional character I'll never own, this by-product of a faceless, soulless corporation... man, I'd be thoroughly depressed--even ashamed--if I weren't so proud of how it's come together since I started two and a half years ago.

This book's been a damn important part of my life for the past couple years, and I know it'll stay with me long after I've finally put it to rest. It's just thrilling to think that time might be upon me rather soon... give or take actual, far-more-important original work.



*Methinks it's time to finally bite the bullet and get a Blu-Ray player.

**I was actually driven to return to that vile hive of scum and fucktardery known as the DC Comics Message Boards to angrily post my ranting passionate thoughts. Not that the experience was full of wankery like usual, I just learned... well, it's a message board for fans of Dick Grayson, not Harvey Dent. In the end, they'll always side with the guy who has the best ass in the DCU.

It's official. Seattle gives me pinkeye. Or at least, something here at Edd's house does. Every time I've come to visit over the past year, bam! Pinkeye. What the hell.



Comics this week hurt my soul. Like, watch this: Marvel's DARK REIGN # 1? FINAL CRISIS # 5? Ow, my soul! See?

On the plus side, there's SECRET SIX # 4. Bane and Scandal are absolutely wonderful, and I will never stop loving Deadshot.

And then there's NIGHTWING. Sigh. Harvey's latest story was... predictably disappointing. If one can expect to be disappointed. Ultimately, it's just another "Two-Face is unrepentantly evil and not much more" depiction. Sigh again.

Back to the ol' Harvey Dent novel. I've been an editing machine lately, tightening up the story throughout. Once I get Bloo's notes in and incorporated, draft number six will be ready!

It's really good, you guys. It'll probably always be too long, but I'm super-pleased nonetheless.



To cheer myself up, courtesy of scarydavedc:

17 Fabulous Prequels To Broadway Musicals
by Lydon, Toon, Norman, & Rutledge


1. Kate, We Haven’t Been Introduced
2. Bar Mitzvah of La Mancha
3. Sand And Primer Your Wagon
4. A Chorus Dot
5. Fiddler Borrows A Ladder
6. Little Business Plan of Horrors
7. A Star's Mom Allows A Handsome Stranger To Buy Her A Drink
8. Indian Territory!
9. The Guy Who Is A Little Intense But Keeps To Himself And Isn’t Really Bothering Anyone Of The Opera
10. Annie There’s A Waiting Period
11. Kittens
12. Brand New Acquaintance Joey
13. Handshake Of The Spider Woman
14. Jesus Christ Waiter
15. Starlight Right-of-Way Allocation And Environmental Impact Study
16. Vocal Warm-ups On A Cloudy Day
17. West Side Backstory



Also, Edd just informed me that NPR just did a whole story on how Northern Virginia sucks total ass, with special emphasis on Tyson's Corner. He's now seriously considering writing in to Robert Siegel and thanking him profusely, as we both shouted, "FINALLY! THIS SHIT IS BEING GIVEN NATIONAL ATTENTION, AND WE'VE KNOWN ABOUT IT OUR WHOLE LIVES!"

NoVA peeps, I love y'all, but seriously.